Quadruplet Humor
Nothing really needs to be said about this, I think. 'Cept "Do it agin."
Grandma, you never looked so good.
In fact, you sort of look like.... Anna Nicole?
OOPS!!
STICKNEY,
Ill. — A family who arrived at a funeral home to view their
91-year-old grandmother's body found another woman in the casket
instead. The family of Lillian Grogan
said the stranger was wearing their grandmother's dress and favorite
bracelet at Mount Auburn Funeral Home in Stickney, Ill., on Monday. The funeral home incorrectly tagged Grogan and another woman's bodies, according to the family. Grogan
was mistakenly buried. Her family got a court order to have her body
exhumed Tuesday, and she'll be reburied at a cemetery in Stickney. The
other woman's identity wasn't available. Houston-based Service Corporation owns the funeral home, and a spokeswoman declined to discuss the incident.
Ring, Vibrate, or Pop
So apparently cell phones are safe for our brains but deadly for popcorn? Watch and gape! Click the French if the screen doesn't work.
July theater madness
Well, I reckon NYGASP has had all the reviews it’s going to be getting for a while. The Washington Post surprisingly did not turn up to see us do “Gondoliers” at Wolf Trap – the first time in our fourteen successful years there that we’ve done something other than Pinafore/Pirates/Mikado. And it’s their God damn loss, I say, because it was a great performance with a large, appreciative audience. Also no review from our recent gig in Missouri…
The SHOW ME STATE. Which you may recall - if not let me show you - is located here. COLUMBIA, MISSOURI is pretty much in the middle of the state, in the foothills of the Ozarks, between St. Louis and Kansas City. Columbia is quite a college town. Over half the population has a bachelor’s degree, plus the city has been ranked as high as the second-best place to live in the United States by Money Magazine's annual list and is regularly in the top 100. Lots of college students = lots of bars = lots of blonde, buttocky babes imbibing beer. Many German immigrants in Missouri, you know. I recently returned from five days there. Ten NYGASP principals went to do a “concert, staged” performance (us in full costumes and makeup running around while the chorus sits in their chairs with scores) of The Pirates of Penzance, with Al along to conduct the pretty good Missouri Symphony in their fabulous renovated theater. The orchestra was large, the chorus of hired college students was small. It was the usual concert opera arrangement – principals cavorting downstage, conductor and orchestra behind us, and chorus sitting in the back. Of course Al is much more adept at accelerating arbitrarily and holding fermatas longer/shorter than rehearsed than he is at listening and keeping it all together, so having us perform with our backs to him had its difficulties. Michael Galante found a blog by one of our Missouri chorus members (click on that to read, it’s short), which in the second paragraph describes Al as “This Daddy Warbucks/Humpty-Dumpty fellow…” here to illustrate his point:
I am including this statue of Mr. Toad because he is bald, too. I love that Toad.
Val and I went to “Gypsy” last weekend. Best revival on Broadway, with certainly the best musical performance, by Patti Lupone as the Shakespeare-quality Mama Rose, also including an even better than usual pit orchestra with particularly brilliant trumpet playing. The kid who played Baby June was quite a firecracker. Conducted by PATRICK VACCARIELLO, delightful fellow who once upon a time conducted Patience for my summer opera company in Maine.
We also saw and loved AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY. Funny, cruel, shocking, and surprisingly worthy of all its awards. Estelle Parsons as another (see "Gypsy") wack-o mother.
Saturday night: DAMN YANKEES AT CITY CENTER! With a cast of “supporting role” TV “celebrities.”
This is supposedly the first NY revival of "Damn Yankees" with the original orchestrations, Fosse choreography, and original book (the Broadway revival in the 90s was “updated” to make hindsight FAG GAGS, for Christ’s sake, about J. Edgar Hoover!), though I think Village Light Opera Group has performed it [I am wrong] and I can’t imagine they would have re-written much. "Damn Yankees was" the first movie musical I ever willingly watched, when I was 10(?), as an alternative to the usual Sunday afternoon Red Sox the rest of my family was watching in the living room. I tuned in for the Faust subject matter (middle-aged turd makes a deal with the Devil to become a young star ball player and beat the Yankees) and was so taken by the music drama aspect of it that I am now what I am today (deliberately vague sentence).
Wednesday: The 39 Steps. A handful of actors performing onstage the kind-of-frantic 1935 Hitchcock movie.
We’ve also seen “The Incredible Hulk” and “Hancock.” “Hulk” is good, especially the deafening, violent, crazy final fifteen minutes. I don’t usually pay attention to stuff like this but Val was there to make sure I noticed that the guy (of color) sitting in front of us had his phone out and was texting throughout the movie (what the hell is that about?); the couple (middle-aged and without color) near us was conversing QUITE FUCKING AUDIBLY about the movie and any other little neuron spark that happened to flit through their brains; and that some idiot dad of color a few rows away had brought four LITTLE CHILDREN, one of whom was SCREAMING HER GUTS OUT throughout the entire final, scary, noisy fight I mentioned before. Naturally the volume was murderous and the subwoofers were giving it everything they had; was this little kid screaming to get into it or because it was just too damn much for a five-year-old girl to try to process as entertainment? Finally, when we left the theater, there was an adult guy (colorless) in the lobby speaking into his cellphone for all to hear: ‘YOU’RE NOT MY FRIEND! I’M SICK OF THE LIES! NEVER CALL ME! I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND! DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID YOU’RE NOT MY FRIEND? I’M SICK OF THE LIES,” etc, etc. Going to the movies with the masses – must it be such an adventure?
“Hancock” was comparatively sedate and will certainly enthrall anyone who’s ever enjoyed Will Smith, with the superhero stuff incidental to the character comedy.
If you only read two celebrity autobiographies this year here’s the first one -- WILLIAM SHATNER’s “Up Till Now.” Shatner has finally attained some wisdom. I always knew he had it in him. Not only is the book full of nutty Shatner adventures in showbiz and the occasional hilarious rant, you actually feel like he has experienced an epiphany or two during the writing and come to some positive philosophical conclusions about life.
lost, lost, lost
Yesterday I spent two hours writing a post that
would have amused and enlightened the masses. Got to the end, inserted a picture, the computer froze (and in this heat, yet) and all was lost. I swear before Blood Goddess Ishtar that I will henceforth take my brother Doug's advice and - after this one - never again post without writing the whole thing as a document, then copying and pasting.
SPRING 2008 NYGASP REVIEWS
Here, with the help of the excellent PAUL SIGRIST, who claims to be not as young as I think he is but I think he must be wrong, are the links to Spring 2008 NYGASP reviews, some of which are quite entertainingly NOT PRETTY.
This bland but positive NY TIMES PINAFORE REVIEW you may have already seen because I posted it a couple of weeks ago. Scroll down a few postings to read my thoughts.
Backstage, the actors' weekly, had two reviews, by different people. The GONDOLIERS REVIEW is a perfect example of a review where the writer seems to wish he could just give it a thumbs up and not have to waste his time writing. The PINAFORE REVIEW is a little more interesting, I guess. The critic's opinion of Laurelyn's work is like nothing I've ever heard of! Laurelyn is the best! This critic's opinion of Laurelyn's costumes is old and boring news -- they have always and do currently look as unflattering on a five foot ten goddess as they do on a person who is shorter than me and temporarily has the burden of a healthy fetus. One Size Fits Al. Still, it's satisfying to see specific costume complaints in print. Poor Josephine, yes.
Whatever you do don't miss this VARIETY REVIEW OF MIKADO! As Louis said of it, "Jesus, I'm finally singled out in a review and the guy rips me a new asshole!" Rest assured, Mr. Variety Critic, Sir, that Louis does indeed wear an unbelievably hot and awful fat suit as Pooh-Bah, and that his exasperating rolling around on the floor is painstakingly dictated by Al. This critic hates everything about the production, which always does make for the most entertaining reading. Honorable mention must go to this critic who, after a thorough butchering, ADMITS THAT THE AUDIENCE HAD A GREAT TIME, AND HOWLED AT THE STUFF HE THOUGHT WAS HORRIBLE.
"Moldy, Messy Gilbert and Sullivan" is the irresistible title of this review from AM New York, one of the free New York dailies. The writer, Matt Windman, whose work I have appreciated before, covers the big three in brief and devotes amusing space to Al's antics and our delicate sets.
This PINAFORE REVIEW FROM EDGE NEW YORK is positive and pallid, and for some reason includes a gruesome snapshot of Al in a giant Major-General costume.
THEATERSCENE.NET gave Gondoliers a positive review that's interesting enough once you get past the FOUR PARAGRAPHS of synopsis and historical stuff.
Here is another typical, worthless, positive PINAFORE REVIEW FROM CLASSICAL SOURCE. The only interesting thing about this one is this quote about me ---
"Stephen Quint was perfectly cast in the patter
role of Sir Joseph Porter; small, sprightly and gifted with an
appealingly light-textured voice, he delivered Gilbert’s words with
wonderfully crisp articulation in a sometimes scene-stealing
performance."
--- which you might like to compare with this quote from Peter G. Davis, writing for New York Magazine in 2002 ---
"Stephen Quint as Sir Joseph Porter is the ideal G&S patter-song comedian: elfin, waspish, agile, with a pleasantly lean-textured voice that articulates notes and words with absolute clarity."
Last and arguably least is this straightforward, positive GONDOLIERS FROM FINANCIAL TIMES. It just don't say much.
As Oscar Wilde sort of said, through Graham Chapman or one of the other Monty Python guys, "It is better to be written about than not written about at all."
There were also a couple of reviews in newspaper form only, not available online as far as I know. If anyone has URLs to any I missed I hope you'll send them.
No Links for You!
I was intending to publish here, in one convenient location, for fan, completist, and sadist alike, all available links to the June, 2008 NYGASP reviews from our season at City Center. But Typepad has been "improving" things - things for which I pay $90 a year and expect them to work - and I am temporarily - I TRUST - unable to insert links! So that posting may be a few days in the future. The FUTURE! Where you and I will spend the rest of our lives.
Tomorrow (Friday, June 19) NYGASP cast and orchestra catch an 8AM bus for Vienna, Virginia, for two performances at Wolf Trap. Pinafore Friday at 8(PM) and Gondoliers Saturday at 8. We have been known to get audiences upwards of 10,000 at this place, depending on the weather. I've written about Wolf Trap in some detail at least once on this site, so go rummaging through old postings, which you should do sometimes anyway, to learn more about the Wolf Trap performing experience. It's fun (body mics for the principals).
Due to tiredness, an early wakeup tomorrow, and annoyance with this evening's typing experience, I am taking the easy way out and leaving you with another one of Dave Sigafoose's bizarre Photoshop nightmares. This is Michele McConnell as Casilda, Angela Smith as the Duchess, and some jerk hambone who can't hold still as the Duke of Plaza-Toro.
I can insert pictures, but not links. Click to make it BIG, and you might get an extra Duke.
Oh, Four Tuna!
"Misheard lyrics" to the first movement of Orff's Carmina Burana, which until now were assumed to be ecclesiastical Latin. Set volume to 11.
We're Performing and the Times says it's OK!
Well, for what it's worth (free sounds about right) here is the New York Times Pinafore Review from this weekend. The critic, Steve Smith, seems to have a positive if completely unenthusiastic attitude about what he saw. Among the startling journalistic innovations with which he took the time and trouble to enliven his critique: a synopsis; a photo of a tenor with his mouth open; a couple of adjectives for some of the principals. I'm "consistently amusing," which, considering the blase tone of the rest of the review, to me actually sounds a bit snide. Oh, and there was also the devastating observation that Josephine's diction was occasionally muffled. Whose diction isn't occasionally muffled? Certainly not a soprano's! No, whoever heard of such a thing?
So it's up to me to do the New York Times' job and tell you a few things about why you might want to see it. Al has redesigned the set so it's not so symmetrical. It's much better, though the location of the steering wheel still makes zero sense and the stage right hatch from which Dick Deadeye frequently emerges, and into which I take a dramatic tumble, has been removed, presumably by Equity to protect their brittle-boned baritones. We have a beautiful new backdrop. Unfortunately the upstage part of the set is miles away from the audience and is occasionally in almost impenetrable darkness, making it difficult to tell where that muffled soprano voice is coming from. It's also impossible for us to hear from back there, though microphones are hanging everywhere and the audience has no trouble hearing us. I couldn't comment on how over-miked we are, but I would bet it's too much.
I defy you to find a better acting/singing/looking set of Ralphs and Josephines than we have. And fine people they are, to boot. Laurelyn Watson Chase and fetus was/were on this weekend and will be replaced for Tuesday night's and Wednesday afternoon's performances by the equally muffled Elizabeth Hillebrand. I will be conducting those two performances - my NYGASP conducting debut, just because I thought it might be interesting, and David Macaluso, who has been my understudy for some time, and already playing Ko-Ko, will make his company debut as Sir Joseph. PLUS - Tuesday night is FREE KID night. Bring a kid. Get him in free. Early 7:00 curtain. Wednesday show is at 3 at discounted prices.
If I were a newspaper critic I might also mention that even a half-assed production of Pinafore is a darned entertaining evening, and our production is nothing if not fully-assed.
We've got curvaceous cuties, twinkle-toed sailors, including the great, GREAT ALAN HILL (see photo right, and click it for APPALLINGLY IMMENSE Alans), and ONLY ONE song with encores, saving the un-funniest one for last, so when you REALLY wish that it's over, it is. The theater is very beautiful, the full-sized orchestra playing the original orchestrations is a joy. There's fine, lively and fun choreography by Bill Fabris, who hasn't actually worked with the company in years, but whose dances for this, Pirates, and Gondoliers keep getting revived because they deserve to be. Bill was not the choreographer of Princess Ida last winter or Yeomen last season. I might also add that he has not hired me for non-NYGASP gigs in a while...
I haven't even mentioned that we do three performances of The Gondoliers Thursday, Saturday, Sunday. There's a lot of fun in that one, too, if we can just keep it moving.
Office Worker Goes Completely Mental!
Normally I would be keeping you up to date with rehearsal reports for our upcoming performances at City Center. But we're all having a pretty good time, unlike in December when everyone but Al was on the verge of committing murder (he was on the verge of being committed), so there really isn't that much interesting to tell you. Instead I offer you this astounding Youtube surveillance camera masterpiece. No sound.
And here is part of the same fracas from a different angle, recorded on a cell phone. I think they are speaking Russian. It sounds like they Tazer him at the end.
Singing for Cheeze
Wednesday 5:30 - 7:30 NYGASP did a little concert
at the Patelson Music House to promote our June season at City Center. Patelson's
is just up the street from City Center and across the street from the Carnegie Hall stage entrance. Eight of us were put at the front of the store, with the window behind us, and Andi and her electric keyboard crammed into the corner. Al stood or crouched beside her, gripping his microphone and waiting for any and every opportunity to hear himself amplified: "In this song you won't know what she's talking about, but you would if you could see her costume... They should be dancing in this part, 
but we don't have room."
Blurting out this kind of thing DURING NUMBERS, while people are trying to perform. The kind of thing for which you take a microphone away from a kid at a wedding reception. Patelson's has been having "Wine and Cheeze" Wednesdays so there was a fairly large number of free-wine-and-cheese-types there, plus baffled, double-taking customers, who only wanted to look for the Chopin collection their teacher recommended, wandering in and out. Al announced we would take a little break. A brusque woman grabbed his mike and announced there was going to be a raffle, and everyone please put your business card in the hat. I had a few cards, so I put them in. In short, I won on the first draw! A cleaning and tooth-whitening session from a dentist! I looked at the "award certificate" and some of the wording made me wonder exactly what I really did win, and how much it might cost me, but there you go. I could barely contain my excitement, and yearned for a bathroom. They had several prizes to give so they drew again - STEPHEN QUINT! They should have stirred those cards up a bit. I declined to be greedy and renounced my claim. The next card they pulled out was somebody else's, and another tooth-whitening was bestowed. Fourth card drawn - ANOTHER OF MINE!!! I was sure I couldn't have put in more than three, so told them to get on with it. Well, I was wrong. From that hatful of cards they drew ALL FOUR of the ones I put in!
I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of you watched 
“Camelot”
on Live from Lincoln Center last week, performed by the NY Philharmonic and a bunch of celebrities. My neighbor Gabriel Byrne played King Arthur. I only saw the final half hour but hereby testify that Neighbor Gabe gave the worst Rex Harrison talk-type rendition of a musical role I have ever heard from an actor. William Shatner, Lorne Greene, Katherine Hepburn, Lee Marvin all leave him in the dust as far as musicianship. Shatner can’t sing one single note, but he usually manages to at least keep his vigorous recitation somewhere in the vicinity of the music as it’s being played. Byrne (we are no longer on a first-name basis) was always either one entire phrase behind OR AHEAD – he couldn’t even tell. Plus he looked frightened out of his wits the entire time. And Alan Jay Lerner’s dialogue sucks horribly, especially for Arthur. Anyway, the neighborhood committee had a secret meeting and Gabriel Byrne is now off Garden Place. We don’t know where he’s moved and we don’t care. To a more congenial spot for happ’ly-ever-aftering, perhaps.
POPE VISITS NY!!! NYGASP RELEASES CAST LIST!!!
Faithful reader:
Now that you’ve O.D.ed on the tour schedule post below and have followed us around the country like a bloodhound pursuing a filthy, smelly rag, and our weekend out-of-town gigs are nearly at a temporary end, here’s some fresh NYGASP gristle for you to chew…
Concerning our JUNE SEASON AT NEW YORK CITY CENTER! Yabba-dabba-doo! Yes, jolly old Al Bergeret and his band of fun-making wackos (a couple of them actually are legally retarded) are back to try a season in a month without an “ARRR,” though we will be doing Pirates of Penzance! No Princess Ida this time – the “non-Big Three” show for this part of the season is The Gondoliers, for which I am assured the choreography will not be 
“excessive, over-demanding, and pointless.” Gondoliers is a very dancy show, though, so we’ll just have to watch and make sure no delusions of grandeur begin asserting themselves at rehearsals, which are many.
And now, for the first time ever, since you can’t count on the NYGASP website for this type of information, HERE’S WHO WILL BE PLAYING WHOM IN THE CASTS. Those fine, fine audience members with a taste for their sweet little Mr. Steve are in luck, as I will be quite in evidence. People who l-o-o-o-o-v-e Keith Jurosko aren’t so lucky (he’s out of town). But all the other cast members you fantasize about are here, including ALAN HILL in EVERY SHOW!
Cast Lists for City Center, June 2008
The Gondoliers
The Duke of Plaza-Toro ……….. Stephen Quint
Luiz …………………………………. Matthew Nelson
Don Alhambra ……………………. Richard Holmes
Marco ………………………….…… Colm Fitzmaurice
Giuseppe …………………………... Bill Whitefield
The Duchess of Plaza-Toro ……. Angela Smith
Casilda ……………………………… Michele McConnell
Gianetta ……………………………. Laurelyn Watson Chase
Tessa ……………………………….. Erika Person
Inez …………………………………. Vicky Devany
also Meredith Borden (Fiametta), Rebecca O’Sullivan (Giulia), Kimberly Bennett (Vittoria), Michael Galante (Francesco), Lance Olds (Antonio), David Auxier (Giorgio)
H.M.S. Pinafore
Sir Joseph – Stephen Quint / David Macaluso
Captain …………………………. Richard Holmes
Ralph ……………………………. Colm Fitzmaurice
Boatswain ………………………. Bill Whitefield
Deadeye ………………………… Louis Dall’Ava
Josephine – Laurelyn Watson Chase / Elizabeth Hillebrand
Hebe …………………………….. Vicky Devany
Buttercup ………………………. Angela Smith
The Pirates of Penzance
Major General ………………... Stephen Quint
Pirate King ………………….… David Wannen
Samuel ………………………… David Macaluso
Frederic ……………………….. Colm Fitzmaurice
Sgt. of Police ………………… David Auxier
Mabel …………………………. Sarah Smith
Edith ………………………….. Erika Person
Kate …………………………… Amy Helfer
Isabel …………………………. Meredith Borden
Ruth …………………………... Angela Smith
The Mikado
The Mikado ………………… David Wannen
Ko-Ko ……………………….. David Macaluso
Pooh-Bah …………………… Louis Dall’Ava
Pish-Tush …………………… Ed Prostak
Nanki-Poo ………………….. Daniel Lockwood
Katisha ………………………. Dianna Dollman
Yum-Yum …………………… Laurelyn Watson Chase
Peep-Bo ……………………... Lauren Wenegrat
Pitti-Sing ……………………. Melissa Attebury
Note the absence of any celebrity names though their photos continue to add nothing to our website. And now for the schedule...
G&S Fest 2008
The Pirates of Penzance
* Saturday, June 7, 2008, 2:00 PM
* Friday, June 13, 2008, 8:00 PM
H.M.S. Pinafore
* Friday, June 6, 2008, 8:00 PM
* Sunday, June 8, 2008, 3:00 PM
* Tuesday, June 10, 2008, 7:00 PM
* Wednesday, June 11, 2008, 2:00 PM
The Mikado
* Saturday, June 7, 2008, 8:00 PM
* Saturday, June 14, 2008, 2:00 PM
The Gondoliers
* Thursday, June 12, 2008, 8:00 PM
* Saturday, June 14, 2008, 8:00 PM
* Sunday, June 15, 2008, 3:00 PM
Ticket Information
All performances are at New York City Center (West 55th St. between 6th & 7th). Tickets can be purchased for $96, $80, $60, and $40 online at www.nycitycenter.org or by calling CityTix at 212.581.1212.
* Buy any 2 shows and Save 15%**
* Buy 3 or more shows Save 25% off **
* Children 12 & under receive 50% off ++
* Seniors 65 & over receive 10% off*
Ask about our Free Kids Nights (January 8 & June 10) and our Special Wednesday Matinee (June 11).
The Tuesday night and Wednesday afternoon Pinafores will feature the excitement of a new Sir Joseph – my perfectly ripping understudy Dave Macaluso – and a new conductor – ME! I’ve always wanted to conduct NYGASP’s “Pinafore” – mostly because you won’t hear a better sung and played “Pinafore,” and conducting the new guy’s first performance seemed like a nice way to pass the torch.
My next posting won’t be just a bunch of copied and pasted stuff. I have a friend who’s touring with that British G&S company that’s been taking NYGASP’s jobs by undercutting us to such a degree that they need to pass the hat at performances. Oh, why be coy? I’m talking about the CARL ROSA OPERA COMPANY .
As I write this Manhattan is swarming with enraptured CATHOLICS. 
Here’s an un-doctored picture of our esteemed papal personage, about to put away a pint of pilsner – probably Pabst. CHUG IT! Do you think he's a mean drunk? I mean, look at him. Yipes! It is my understanding that he inhales, as well.
Dancing Gamas Please Wait in the Wings
I don't know if it would actually "fix" Princess Ida but adding extra Gamas certainly wouldn't hurt it. Nightmare courtesy of Dave Sigafoose.
Pinafore on the Road
NEW YORK GILBERT AND SULLIVAN PLAYERS are loading up their ipods and fattening up their asses in preparation for the
excruciating bus journeying we have coming up. We're taking Pinafore on the road and if you live in any of these cities or citilets you need to
know about it. It's all me as Sir Joseph, my excellent friends Laurelyn Watson Chase doing her first Josephine and Louis Dall’Ava as Deadeye, and a magnificent array of sisters, cousins, and aunts. Also some sailors, including ALAN HILL, and an orchestra.
Our first gig is a performance by the authentic NYGASP quintet, “The Wand’ring Minstrels” (featuring me, not Al, as the comic baritone), Monday, March 3, at the Sauk Center, St Cloud, MN. It's an abbreviated, 5-person “Pirates” and a load of G&S hits. I assume it’s 8PM. I can't find any further info about this at the NYGASP website.
The rest of these are all “Pinafore,” and you can learn slightly more at http://nygasp.org/current_season/on_tour
March 04, 2008 7:30pm H.M.S. Pinafore
Orchestra Hall, Minnesota Orchestra, Minneapolis, MI
March 05, 2008 7:30pm H.M.S. Pinafore
University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, Whitewater, WI
Young Auditorium at UWW
March 06, 2008 8:00pm H.M.S. Pinafore
College of Dupage-McAninch Arts Center, Glen Ellyn, IL
March 07, 2008 8:00pm H.M.S. Pinafore
The Whiting, Flint, MI
March 12, 2008 7:30pm H.M.S. Pinafore
Stockton Performing Arts Center, Stockton College, NJ
March 14, 2008 8:00pm H.M.S. Pinafore
Capitol Center for the Arts, Concord, NH
March 15, 2008 8:00pm H.M.S. Pinafore
Colonial Theater, Keene, NH
April 05, 2008 8:00pm H.M.S. Pinafore
The Shubert Theater, New Haven, CT
www.shubert.com
April 11, 2008 8:00pm H.M.S. Pinafore
The Community Theater, Morristown, NJ
Pre Show Lecture 7PM The Community Theater
April 12, 2008 8:00pm H.M.S. Pinafore
The Paramount Theater, Charlottesville, VA
www.theparamount.net
April 19-20, 2008 8:00pm H.M.S. Pinafore
The Southern Theatre, Columbus, 2 nights of H.M.S. Pinafore
And, as usual, don't forget to find out what hotel we're at so you can drive back there before us to keep the bar open and buy us drinks. Also, may I caution you that we are NOT the touring Gilbert and Sullivan company from England that PASSES THE HAT FOR CONTRIBUTIONS before the show because they don't charge enough for tickets so they can undercut us!
Martelle RIP
Yes, that's right, my poor old dilapidated dad died on Saturday. If you knew him you'd know where I was coming from. Better sense of humor than most people who get paid for it. He would have laughed at Al trying to get me to drive back to NY for a "crucial" rehearsal on Tuesday. He didn't die with a Bible clutched to his bosom; never found Jesus at the end.
| Quint, Martelle |
|
||
 PITTSFIELD [Maine] - Martelle C. Quint died Feb. 9, 2008, at his home on Madawaska
Avenue [yes, if you thought it was North Main St. you're not reading about the wrong guy, they changed the name of the street] after an extended period of ill health. He was tenderly cared
for by family members during his final days. Marty was born Nov. 30, 1924, in North New Portland, son of Martelle C. Quint and Georgie (Ronco) Quint Webb. The young family moved to Pittsfield during the Great Depression. Marty graduated from MCI in 1943, where he excelled in sports and became known for his encyclopedic [adjective chosen by me! It really was quite thrilling] memory of every sports figure and sporting event. He was drafted into the U.S. Army a week after high school graduation and served in the European Theater. At war's end he toured Europe as a member of the Army's exhibition basketball team. He was discharged with the rank of sergeant in the Quartermaster Corps. In 1950 he obtained a degree in business administration from the University of Maine with the help of the GI Bill. Marty married Mary Dysart of Pittsfield in 1953 and began a propane gas business, which became known as Mid State Gas. He was a Little League, Babe Ruth and American Legion baseball coach, and refereed basketball throughout many communities surrounding Pittsfield. Marty lived a fine, long life and was predeceased by his parents; as well as his stepfather, Abel Webb; his brother, Bobby Webb; and sister, Arlene Quint Gordon. He is survived by his wife of 54 years, Mary; and sisters, Marie Quint Merrithew, Jeanette Webb Fitts and Maggie Webb Lowell and her husband, Vaughn. Marty and Mary had seven children. They are Stephen and his wife, Valerie, of Brooklyn, N.Y., Tom, Susan and her partner, Rich Poulin, David and his wife, Patricia, all of Pittsfield, Nancy and her partner, Kelly Wood, of Windham, Janet and her husband, Keith Sanford, of Old Town and Douglas and his partner, Bryan Petroff, of New York City. His grandchildren are Maggie, Lucy, Arlo, Amber, Tyson, Lauren, Garrett, Amy, Amanda, Lizbeth, Marty, Victor and Mia; great-granddaughter, Hope; he also has numerous nieces and nephews. He enjoyed watching his children and grandchildren participate in sports and music events [my mother insisted on adding that comment - Dad barely tolerated musical events and never uttered one single syllable of encouragement}, and was an avid sports fan; he and his wife traveled the country to attend the Frozen Four ice hockey championships. The Quints spent many wonderful summers at the family camp on Sibley Pond, as well as by the pool at their home. He was well known as a practical joker with a wry sense of humor. Marty will be greatly missed by all who knew him. A joyful celebration of his life will be held 3 p.m. Friday, Feb. 15, at the Masonic Lodge, Hamilton Drive, Pittsfield. In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent in Marty's name to the Pittsfield Swimming Pool Fund, Town of Pittsfield, care of Pittsfield Community Swimming Pool Fund, 112 Somerset Ave., Pittsfield, ME 04967. The family wishes to thank the nurses and doctors of the Dialysis Center at Maine General Hospital. They also wish to extend their thanks to Dr. Benjamin Brown and members of Sebasticook Regional Family Care office, Pittsfield. |
|||
| Published in the Bangor Daily News on 2/11/2008. | |||
PSA: recital coming up
Guest bloggist: Doug.
I (DOUG QUINT) have a recital coming up in a few weeks. Please, all of you, attend. I promise it will be even better than the last recital in at least one way: it will be EVEN SHORTER!
Monday, Feb 25
7:30 PM
CUNY Graduate Center, Elebash Recital Hall
365 5th Ave, between 34/35
It's free. I'd tell you all sorts of details, but who really cares? You'll be out by 9:10pm; plenty of time to go have dinner, trolls Craigslist for a date, or groom your cat. You could even do all three if you're an overachiever!
A link that will tell you nothing I didn't already type here. Link added to lend authenticity.
More Ida Reviews
I was at Lincoln Center yesterday and had the misfortune to look through the window at Avery Fisher Hall during the pre-concert dinner hour. No matter how rich or fancy you think you are I wish you would give a moment’s consideration to how you look when you eat. My eyes were opened years ago when I got a slice of pizza and ate it at a counter in front of a store-length mirror. I was disgusting! Taking huge bites, stuffing it all into one cheek, probing my teeth with my tongue… I can’t go on. These atrocities and more were being perpetrated by the cognoscenti and I don’t know how people can get so old and eat so repulsively. Please fix that.
Also yesterday I went for a haircut and had my first professional shave. I asked the barber – probably in an effort to avoid having to talk about the GOD DAMN SUPER BOWL – if he had seen Sweeney Todd. The barber – a Russian guy – said, “No, but I understand there’s a lot of blood.” He said it as if that was a good thing, which of course it is. I asked about getting shaved and he asked if I had time for the “deluxe treatment,” which is $4 extra and takes about 30 minutes. I told him to bring it on. They (this Russian barber and his Russian barber brother) prefer not to shave when business is brisk because you can give two haircuts in the time it takes to do a shave. But it was 8:30 and snowing (gigantic flakes which didn’t last long) so we did it right.
After the haircut he rubbed some thick stuff into my face. “This is cream for shaving,” he said. “It’s called ‘Shaving Cream.’” Then he put a hot towel on me for a couple of minutes. Wiped off some of the excess cream and got to work with a little straightedge razor, shaving mostly with the grain. Before he got to work on my neck he asked, “Are you married?” “Yes.” “Does your wife know you’re here?” “Uh - ye - yes?” Then he started around the Adam’s apple. Made me gasp, let me tell you. He was obviously aware of the gist of Sweeney Todd. After that, a little more stuff applied to the face and further shaving against the grain. Then an EXTREMELY hot towel wrapped with nothing exposed but the nostrils, then further moisturizer rubbed in and after shave lotion spritzed on. I had never had any kind of a facial and thought the experience was pretty darn cool. I don’t know if the shave was really any closer than what I do myself, though. I don’t have to be onstage for about a month, so I’m not going to shave till then, and when I do I’m going back to this barber.
Maggie the 12-year-old daughter LOVED Sweeney Todd and astonished me, as she did after we saw The Producers on Broadway, by quoting it extensively on the walk home. She’s seen Christopher Lee get enough stakes through the heart so that the ridiculously bright red blood didn’t bother her, and a month later she’s still singing the songs. “We A-L-L DE-SERVE TO DIE…” Lucy (9) also watched it (illegal download GIVEN TO ME BY A FRIEND) and felt compelled to leave the room for a couple of the slashings, and demanded to know up front if the young lovers live, but also enjoyed if very much and her attention never wandered, that’s for sure. I saw the original cast in 1979 and have been waiting since then for the movie version. It is a great movie musical but I found Helena Bonham Carter a little exasperating. Granted we’ve got Angela Lansbury’s dynamic performance preserved and don’t really need more of the same but Mrs. Lovett as a heroin depressed goth girl…? Where’s the fun in that? I guess Tim Burton wanted an
anti-Lansbury. And Johnny Depp looked like a LESS insane version of Beethoven.
Anthony Perkins would have made a fine movie Sweeney too, and like Depp he could also sort of sing.
On Saturday night NYGASP had its final Princess Ida for hopefully as many as eight years. We played the great McCarter Theater in Princeton to a very full and appreciative house. It was fun to do after a couple of weeks off. Ida really is right at the bottom of the barrel as far as Gilbert’s input is concerned. Not quite as bad as The Grand Duke, which is bad Sullivan as well, but certainly on a par with Gilbert’s lame work in The Sorcerer and Utopia, Limited. Here’s yet another Ida review, mostly synopsis, from Theater Scene.net (choice quote: "What passes for imagination are such things as the tap dancing soldiers in the third act, which seem vaguely out of character from the rest of the evening").
And here’s one more, on the brief side, from some New Jersay paper.
I’ve also seen some blog reviews, basically favorable and not interesting enough to bother presenting to you. I snicker that they take the performers to task for frequently not facing the people onstage to whom they’re singing or speaking (it's "distracting"). I am sure that these blog critics watch much fine television and occasionally even drag themselves outside to see a movie but in a theater where no microphones are involved I promise you it’s much better if the performers try to make their voices go out to the customers.
IMPORTANT NEWS
It's a Holy Night! The Sacred Birth of Mr. Steve is celebrated today, though no one knows exactly when he was really born.
Eat something brown and think of Him.
January 2008 NYGASP reviews
The first half of NYGASP’s G&S FEST 2008 is complete, to be continued in June. The Pirates of Penzance (accent definitely, once and for all, on the second syllable) managed not to fall all over itself. Princess Ida happened without anyone completely brain-farting and stopping dead over the frequently awful Gilbert dialogue. The single performance of Mikado went just fine without me. Trial by Jury is always automatically fun and G&S a la Carte went better than anyone dared hope it would. Gay Night has come and gone. Audiences laughed and cheered. Sometimes they also stood up (occasionally while continuing to clap).
The reviews are presumably all in and they are overwhelmingly nondescript. Click on the colored bits below for links to them. The most perceptive of them was probably the NY Times review of Princess Ida. I can add nothing or offer any defense for what this guy has to say, except to note that all the gigantic gesturing and unmotivated motion he mentions did not come directly from Al, though there’s no reason he shouldn’t take the blame. The only reviews other than the Times are online sources, so temper your gullibility accordingly. I mean, really – online critics. Who are these people? Isn’t everyone a critic online? Do they have any more credibility than someone who does a rant on Craigslist?
This one is from “Broadway World,” for both Pirates and Ida, overall favorable, as are they all, but with qualms you will note recurring in most of the reviews.
Here’s a surprisingly uninformative "Ida" review from Backstage, the actor’s weekly newspaper. I don’t know if it actually appeared in the paper or just online.
Backstage also reviewed "PIRATES .” I have no idea who the singer is in the photo or even what non-NYGASP production it’s from! The clever business he mentions in “Sighing Softly” was worked out in less than 5 minutes by David Macaluso and me in front of a mirror.
This "Pirates" review from Theater Mania is easier reading than most, if that’s what you’re looking for.
Here’s another fluffy review from “Broadway World,” 
for Trial by Jury and G&S a la Carte, our review program with Keith Jurosko as Gilbert and me as Sullivan.
I think we look pretty convincing. Click for bigness. Photo by Kimilee Bryant, our excellent Princess Ida.
I recommend you have a look at this TIMES review for "Pirates." It seems to be favorable but doesn’t really SAY anything. Which is an interesting approach for the critic (Allan Kozinn) to take in that he does mention “unusual textual touches, including score variants in the finale that briefly revisit themes from the first act.” We did this – what, 15 years ago? AND NEVER SINCE. Back then I went to the library and copied out the original Act 2 finale, which reprises "Hail, Poetry" and the Major-General song, and we did it for some performances at Symphony Space. "At length we are provided, with unusual facility, To change piratic crime for dignified respectability..." ugh, a load of crap. The famous Joseph Papp production also uses this finale. Anyway, this guy Kozinn obviously didn’t stay to the end of the Tuesday, January 8, 2008, 7PM(!!!) performance he claims to have attended and actually referred to the Times files for notes about what he missed! This is the New York Times! And here I am questioning the credibility of online critics! He also takes issue with my tempo for the Major-General song, which is just too absurd to comment on.
I say it just isn't possible to go to a NYGASP production and not have a pretty good time, either appreciating what you like, or considering what, or why, you don't.
See below for my brother’s review of GAY NIGHT. Click on the "photo essay" - Doug and Bryan are the last photo down - the normal, happy-looking guys in matching glasses, no styled, bleached hair or tight shirts. There was reputedly a definite, slightly desperate “pick-up” atmosphere but it sure as heck sounded like everyone had fun, and a lot of the audience returned the next day for “Mikado” AND(!)/or “Ida!”
Doug sums up: Gay Pirates
I am proud horrified to say that I attended the GAY RECEPTION before last Friday’s Pirates. Yuck! It wasn’t really open to just any old gay; you had to have some sort of special ticket or be on a list. Well, I gayed my way past the door woman and got up to the party. Yeesh!
The large boy running the party was giving everyone a sticker to wear. He asked “What kind of booty would you look for if you were a pirate?” I sort of understood that he was making a joke, but frankly it was so stupid that I couldn’t think of anything to say that was unwitty enough to make sense. He said to Bryan “come on, I don’t have all day” – Bryan, like myself, was too dumbstruck by his request to even reply. He wrote a name tag for me, and I don’t know what he intended to write… it couldn’t have been what he meant. He wrote “Plumd booty.” There was no mistaking the D. Bryan thoughtfully added an apostrophe to make the tag even more dada. “Plum’d booty.” Whatever!
The line for drinks was miserably long, and the drinks strong but lousy. The men? Well, look for yourself. I’m appalled to tell you that we wound up in a photo from the event.
As for the show itself: if you’ve ever seen a NYGASP Pirates, well, I can’t imagine why you’d see it again unless your brother is playing the Major General. There’s some schtick that has been in there since I first saw the production (back in… 85?) but now even more added crap. None of the old “bits” cut out, and lots of new stuff. At this point I feel like I’ve been watching the same Three Stooges routine for twenty solid years. I think that the production should be completely and utterly gutted. Yeah, I know, people were laughing at the idiotic exchange between the Sergeant of Police and the orchestra’s percussionist, but come on. People laugh at FULL HOUSE reruns, too. Years of layered on junk have really screwed up a delightful production. Also, the constant hand gestures drive me even further over the edge. Does Ruth REALLY need to demonstrate “pilot” by steering a wheel EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE SINGS THAT WORD? Gack. We get it.
As for the cast, it was one of the stronger ensembles I’ve ever encountered. I was quite sad that Keith Jurosko wasn’t in- I’d never seen him as the Sergeant and I was looking forward to it. The fellow who did the role was swell. I did have a wistful moment, missing Phil Reilly. I think that the Mabel had a nice instrument but I was surprised that she was leaving out notes to sneak breaths. I guess she needed it, though, cuz she was getting more than a little flat up there. She was a good actress, very enjoyable, and it more than made up for the anomalies in her singing.
Louis was an excellent doufus cop. Michael Galante looked fetching, and audience members were whispering about Alan Hill’s big package.
Steve Quint is a god damned brilliant Major General. The Pirate King was also excellent, but his role, above all others, was hindered by the endless dumb gesticulations he had to wrangle.
Oh! Also- the performance was conducted by someone named Jeffrey. He seemed quite good. The orchestra sounded better than usual- much cleaner ensemble. The stage-to-pit coordination was also excellent. The lady’s chorus needs to be group slapped, though… I don’t think I’ve ever heard the NYGASP women get “How beautifully blue the sky” right ever, and it REALLY stunk on Friday.
That’s enough of that.
Doug speaks
As excited as I am to see my 182nd billionth performance of PIRATES OF PENZANCE this week, I'm even more excited to post the following article. I have cut out a great deal of it, leaving only the most salacious and idiotic bits. Only in Japan! Or the Philippines. Or the Bronx. Or, well, anywhere. It just proves once again that MUSIC IS BAD. The only person more perverted than a musician is a music teacher. STAY AWAY FROM MUSIC.
Anyone that will be at Pirates on Friday, please look for me, and throw things at me... like narcotics! Thank god it's not Pinafore, I'd hang myself from the balcony during the 3rd "Bell Trio" encore.
DOUG
Wayward woodwind teacher arrested for showing schoolgirls how to blow
Shukan Post (12/21-28)
Celebrated schoolgirl woodwind orchestra instructor Yoshihito Hagiwara faces a long time behind bars after he allegedly got the girls in his charge to blow an organ that had nothing to do with music, according to Shukan Post (12/21-28).
Hagiwara has entered a guilty plea to charges of breaking the Child Welfare Law and the Law Banning Child Pornography.
During the most recent hearing in his trial late last year, prosecutors told a family court that 33-year-old Hagiwara used his position guiding the woodwind group at a posh private high school to lure young girls into sex by telling them they needed it to improve their musical abilities.
Prosecutors say he maintained sexual relationships with some schoolgirls by telling them sex would allow them to perpetuate the improvements that copulation had brought about to their skills with an instrument.
Only three students at the school have pressed charges against Hagiwara, but prosecutors pointed out that he had been in charge of the musical group at the school for nine years and had lured at least 13 schoolgirls into his clutches.
"A raid on his home netted photos of half-naked schoolgirls who had taken off their uniforms and even many pictures of the girls engaged in sex with him," an officer involved in the police investigation into the case tells Shukan Post. "There were photos of several different students."
Police say Hagiwara had fashioned a tiny shed to act as a storeroom for the music students, where he would take girls for sex.
"Hagiwara realized that he held a powerful control over girls who were worried about their musical abilities. He would mail or telephone or verbally offer the girls a private lesson to get them alone with him. He was having sex simultaneously with several girls at times," the investigation insider says. "There were even times when he would shave all the hair off a girl's body, telling her he was 'exorcizing her demons.'"
Police said nearly all of Hagiwara's victims had been virgins until he got to them.
Those who know the school where Hagiwara worked are not surprised it took until late last year before he was caught.
"Hagiwara was almost like a god to the woodwind group," a source from the school tells Shukan Post. "Some of the students used to refer to themselves as 'Hagi(wara's) Orchestra.'"
Hagiwara was a talented flautist as a child, and completed a musical course at a junior college in Tokyo before returning to his parents' home in Yamanashi Prefecture to help out with the family business. He continued playing his flute, though, making a name for himself by winning contests and putting on outstanding shows.
Hagiwara started helping out at the school in 1998, when he was employed as a special instructor. Even when the school hit budget problems and could no longer continue to pay him, Hagiwara stayed as a volunteer.
When Hagiwara first started instructing, the school was not particularly well-known for its musical achievements. However, growing numbers of his charges began winning musical contests, and demand for his tuition grew to the point that in recent years, he was overseeing 60 third-year students a year. But even as his reputation for excellence grew, he exploited it to seduce his students.
Despite which, however, Hagiwara's parents still can't see their son being entirely in the wrong.
"We always had students coming over to our house. I know the girls who pressed charges against him very well," Hagiwara's mother tells Shukan Post. "I can't help thinking that they might have been trying to monopolize him for themselves."
SCORE WITH PIRATES!
You wanted it! You asked for it! And you got it! And you can have it! Friday, January 11 at 8pm is GAY NIGHT at City Center, 55th St between 6th and 7th!!! Come one, come all to The Pirates of Penzance, one NYGASP production that I would not describe as especially gay, and get 50% off all ticket purchases & FREE ENTRY to the special GAY patron Pre-Show Reception on the Mezzanine featuring complimentary drinks! Who will be there? Can you stand not to know? This is also SINGLES NIGHT, so how can you lose? Come alone and leave with a Gilbert and Sullivan fan! Yay!
As long as I’m here, and since I obviously need to warm up before I can do a real posting, here is the rest of the STEVE QUINT 2008 NYGASP JANUARY CITY CENTER SCHEDULE:
PRINCESS IDA (King Gama): Friday, Jan 4, 8PM; Sunday, Jan 6, 3PM; Saturday, Jan 12, 8PM.
TRIAL BY JURY AND SELECTIONS PROGRAM (Judge and assorted stuff): Thursday, Jan 10, 8PM.
PIRATES OF PENZANCE (Major-General): Saturday, Jan 5, 2PM and 8PM; Tuesday, Jan 8, 7PM (Free Kids Night!); Friday, Jan 11, 8PM with festivities described above; Sunday, Jan 13, 3PM.
I think the only thing I didn’t mention was the single performance of MIKADO, Saturday the 12th at 2PM, from which I’ll be taking a break.
For GAY NIGHT you can visit www.citycenter.org and enter the code: 3485 OR call 212-307-4100
and mention in your most seductive voice code NY2. Or, if you just can’t stand coded messages, I suppose you could just tell City Center “I’M GAY” or “I’M SINGLE, WHAT’S IT TO YOU?” and get your deal.
Here’s a link to the NYGASP WEBSITE CALENDAR, from which you can navigate to more ticket-purchasing info.
I'll be LOOKING for YOU...
mmmmmmmmmmmmm............
Starring Doug, Devin, Bryan, "and Special Friends"
Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!
Perky Pinafore
Gee, I haven't been blogging much, have I? What's up right now is Louis Dall'Ava and I are directing "Pinafore" at the Horace Mann School in Riverdale with a small cast of 6, 7, and 8th graders! Performances are this weekend! It is one of the most charming things you'll ever see. The 2-month rehearsal period has not been without various grade-school-type tortures: people absent without warning from crucial rehearsals, not much memory for harmony, and NOISE. Admittedly these tortures are also encountered from amateurs and some short-careered professionals, but when do kids finally start just talking to each other, and stop yelling all the time? They're all really nice, each and every one a star, and they're loving "Pinafore" - "It's so catchy! And it all rhymes!" We had an audience of school kids yesterday and they understood the story, laughed at all the right stuff, no problem, and listened to the songs without being jerks! Potential future Bayreuth audience.
Come to Riverdale and see it, you won't regret it, unless you're a sourpuss. Saturday at 7:30, Sunday at 2, on the lovely Horace Mann campus. I'll be writing about it, and including a photo.
